hansel-gretel-banner-new6Gretel

This is how I imagine the pitch for this movie to the studio went:

Writer: “So, here it is.  These 2 people run around hunting witches.  Excessive gore results.”

Exec: ” hmmmmm… Everyone likes exploding bodies.  But some people nowadays like an actual plot.  What else ya got?”

Writer: “Well, what if we set the story in the land of fairy tales?  That’ll bring the ladies in and it’s working for that TV show.”

Hansel

Exec: “That’s true.  So who do you want to make the heroes?  I can see Red Riding Hood and Snow White teaming up to fight crime in ancient times.”

Writer: “Nah – then we lose the exploding witches.  What about if we make them Hansel & Gretel?  Show what happened to them after they escaped the candy house and grew up.”

Exec: “Oh yeah, we need the exploding witches… and throw in some completely unnecessary nudity… and maybe some bad language.”That pretty much sums up the story.  It’s still kind of fun but it’s way too much at times and Jeremy Renner may lose the goodwill he received after his Oscar nominations and big movie roles.  He is truly terrible in this.

DB

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